Here at Outright Geekery we’re fans of all of popular culture, and nothing is quite as popular as the annual football championship of the much beloved National Football League of the United States of America. We just love our modern day gladiators! They’re the closest things we have to living heroes, but I prefer my heroes a whole lot more heroic. So I figured I’d do a bit of a mash-up and pick my own starting lineup for a football team of Marvel characters. Huddle up, because some of these picks are straight through the uprights, while others may seem like fumbles until I pull out the trick play.
Quarterback – Captain America
The best field general a team could ask for, and if those shield throwing skills translate at all to a football there’s no one else I want leading my team down the gridiron. I’d pick Bucky as his backup. The sidekick is a natural follower, and you know he’s got a hell of an arm.
Fullback – The Thing
The key feature I look for in a fullback isn’t blocking ability or ball handling skill. While those are important, my fullback needs to be dependable. A guy who gets it done when it needs to get done, and doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the trenches. Others may be bigger and faster than The Thing, but he’s got it where it counts.
Halfback – Juggernaut
Wide Receiver 1 – Mr. Fantastic
Wide Receiver 2 – Spider-Man
My favorite sort of wide-receiver is the dark horse. The underweight, undersized, that defenses just give the proper attention to. And even when they DO throw double coverage his way, his skill, guts, and determination find a way to get things done. That’s Spidey!
Tight End – Colossus
No offense to the rest of the big players on my team, but tight ends need to be smart. Growing up in a school, Colossus has both the body and the mind to read a defense late in a play and either get open of pick up the blitz. Plus, he’s got plenty of passing experience for those TE End-Around Options. I’m sure throwing Wolverine translates to footballs.
Offensive Line – Beast, Hulk, Thor, Red Hulk, Hercules
The Offensive line needs to be a cohesive unit, holding the beasts in check with a solid center and strong perimeter. At center is a strong leader, defender of his general, and a guy with hands good enough to ensure Cp get the ball at the snap, Thor. On either side of center is a duo of guards who get angry when the QB is sacked, and you don’t want to make them angry, Hulk and Red Hulk. Good tackles have two qualities beyond strength and size: Smarts, and an relentless desire to keep the defense away from the QB. No one is bigger, stronger and smarter than Beast, and Hercules just knows how to get a job done.
Cornerback 1 – Quicksilver
At first thought Quicksilver would be a great receiver, but I just don’t have the faith in his hands. He’s much better as a coverage guy, and, if he does get a lucky interception, it’s an easy Pick Six.
Cornerback 2 – Multiple Man
Strongside Linebacker – Omega Red
Weakside Linebacker – Nightcrawler
Middle Linebacker – Doctor Doom
The middle linebacker is also known as the Quarterback of the Defense. He’s the opposing general, reading the quarterback and the offense and setting up defense accordingly. The position requires intelligence, leadership, and, above all else, subtlety. The best QBs lead the defense, but the best MLBs fool the offense into a false sense of safety. There’s no one else in the Marvel U that fits the bill as perfectly as Doom. He’ll also want the biggest contract.
Strong Safety – Ronan
Strong safeties need to be able to cover runs, passes, and adjust on the fly. But I like my safeties to knock people on their asses so hard that they blow snot bubbles out of their noses. “You stand accused!”
Free Safety – Taskmaster
Defending for the deep pass play gives the fee safety the best look at the field as each play unfolds, and there’s nobody better at naturally adjusting to what he’s seeing and experiencing than Taskmaster. Just when you think you’ve gotten a deep one past him, he’s already two steps in that direction.
Defensive Line – Iron Man, Abomination, Rhino, Hyperion
The goal of the defensive line is simple: Kill the guy with the ball! Stopping the RB and attacking the QB through the middle are two voracious attackers, Abomination and Rhino. Watching the edges and maneuvering around the corners takes both strength and dexterity, with Iron Man and Hyperion fighting for Most Sacks on this team.
Head Coach – Professor Xavier
It’s the job of the head coach to make sure everyone is on the same page of the gameplan every step of the way. There’s no better way to do that than to actual read your players’ minds. Plus, being able to send plays psychically is a big perk.
Offensive Coach – Magneto
Defensive Coach – Nick Fury
Who’s on your Marvel Football Dream Team?