Top o’ the Lot: Geek Cocktails

As the year that was 2014 comes to a close, as is the custom at the close of every year, people the world over will be partaking in the the age-old celebratory practice of drinking themselves stupid. Now, just because you’re at a bar chugging and pounding your way to midnight with new and old new friends alike does not mean you have to ignore your inner geek while getting sloshed. You can get tipsy drunk, forgetting your name in the process, but never forgetting your nerdy roots. Now, there are a lot of different concoctions out there, but these are (pretty) official. So, without further ado, drink responsibly, be sure to stay hydrated, and take plenty of pictures, with Outright Geekery’s Top o’ the Lot: Geek Cocktails.  happy-new-year

Honorable Mention: Beer

Cold and served in a frosty mug

It’s the tried and true alcoholic beverage of choice for humans worldwide day in and day out, and there’s no reason ringing in the New Year should mean a change to that. And it happens to be the go to beverage for the mutant drinking machine Wolverine. With so many options to choose from, if you can find the right bar you can drink a different beer every hour and never have the same one twice. Ah, beer. I really like beer!

5. Zombie (Flaming Zombie)

1 oz of light rum, 1 of golden rum, and 1 of dark rum, mixed with apricot brandy, pineapple and papaya juices, with some syrup and 151 added for good measure, all poured over ice. Add fruit to stay hydrated.

Basically take everything that says ‘rum’ on it, mix it together with fruit juice until it taste good, add some syrup (or grenadine) to thicken it up, brandy to smooth it over, and 151 rum to kick things up a notch (or three). Fun for The Walking Dead fans, and anyone else. Float a lime slice on the top, pour a bit of that 151 over it, and light that shit up for a Flaming Zombie, but either way, it’s yummy and certainly does the trick, but it’s quite a bit of work.

4. White Lady

2 oz of dry gin, 1/2 oz of triple sec, 1/2 oz lemon juice, and a fresh egg white (I know. That’s classy!) shaken with ice then strained into a cocktail glass.

A drink fit for Emma Frost herself, this tasty burst of citrus and gin begs for background jazz music and leather outfits. The single egg white adds just a bit of viscosity to the otherwise watery sipper, but don’t let that throw you off, it’s delicious. While it may be tough to get egg whites at a bar, asking the bartender is they use actual egg whites in their White Ladies is just the sort of pretentious attitude that you’d think would go with ordering one of these. But then you can order something else, asking is half the fun.

3. Agent Orange

1 oz of vodka and 3 oz of carrot juice mixed over ice in a brandy glass. A whole carrot garnish MUST be used.

I’ve seen a ton of different versions of this potable including orange juice and orange flavored brandy and other orange related items, but for the best version; the version that that will set you apart as the greedy drinker that gives the drink its geek namesake; you have to go with the carrot juice. I mean, who else is going to drink this? Well, I have, and you have to use really good carrot juice, or you might as well not even bother.

2. Incredible Hulk

2 oz of Hennessy brand cognac and 2 oz of Hpnotiq fruit flavored liqueur mixed over ice. Garnish with fruit or gamma radiation.

Guaranteed to smash your face in and taste terrific the whole way through. I don’t know what they put in Hpnotiq but it sure does taste good. Add some Hennessy because adding that to ANYTHING is delicious. Ice calms everything down enough to need at least 2 an hour, but you’ll need to pace yourself with these. Strength is NOT a side-effect, but talking like the Hulk is. Me more drink!

1. The Four Horsemen

1/4 oz Bourbon whiskey, 1/4 oz Tennessee whiskey, 1/4 oz Scotch whiskey, 1/4 oz Irish Whiskey. Drank like a fucking man from a shot glass.

The Four Horsemen are Jim Beam, Jack Daniel, Johnnie Walker, and John Jameson. At times Mr. Jameson is replaced by one Jose Cuervo, but the result is equally face smashing. This is not a beverage for the light of heart, but, and I speak from experience, you can start your New Year’s Eve at 11:15 and catch up in almost no time at all. These are not delicious, but if you want something that tastes good go buy some ice cream. But if you want to have your entire race decimated by a supernatural force, you can’t go wrong with this one.

Four Horseman Drink

See a mistake? Disagree with the choices? Tell us what you think about this installment of Top o’ Lot, join in the discussion and share your opinion.


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