There isn’t any more comfortable form of transportation than a hype-train. You know, that fast-moving, rail-bending ramp-up to the next big comic book event? The Big 2 do it all the time, and nothing has been heavier with hype over the past few weeks than Marvel Comics’ series of Summer 2014 teasers. There are all sorts of rumors flying around the Internet, most of them overly imaginative; like a series of redo events, or a line-wide reboot; or underwhelming ‘been-there-done-thats’; like What If? stories; but I haven’t seen anyone apply what we know, put it into a context, and apply previous Marvel promotions to the current trend. It all makes for my own theory about the teasers, and it has nothing to do with an event, and everything to do with Jonathan Hickman, his Secret Wars and his Avengers.
What We Know
We know that Marvel is doing something big, but the ONLY thing we know for sure is that the overarching event at the heart of it all will be Secret Wars, written by Jonathan Hickman. We’re almost certain that this is going to be a series because we have an artist announced, which is important in this context. None of the teasers we’ve gotten have been associated with a series, an interior artist, or anything else but a cover, and we have no idea what these are the covers for. We’ve been teased with bewildering covers for all sorts of events in the past, and it turned out to be a lead-up to something different. The old bait-and-switch. Secret Wars has a release date of May 2015 through 2016, and that includes the Summer being teased. The only other thing we know for sure is Time Runs Out…
We know that Secret Wars will be the start that ends with the current Avengers/New Avengers event Time Runs Out…, and there are some dots we can make right now. While we’re not really sure where Iron Man is, and what’s left of the Illuminati are on the run, we’ve seen Thor and Hyperion in the Savage Land do something amazing.
They are traveling through a portal to the other side of the multiverse to…well, I don’t think we’re quite sure why. But they are traveling through the multiverse, surely they’re doing something heroic, and surely it involves doing said heroics with SHIELD’s permission seeing as SHIELD is so much more badass.
SHIELD is looking for Tony Stark; Tony Stark is missing. I say Hyperion and Thor are hunting Tony Stark. Is it a stretch? Yup. But they are definitely traveling the multiverse, and where else are they going to visit?
The ongoing, seemingly non-stop series of Summer 2014 teasers are not a bunch of redos, a universe-wide reboot, or a ridiculously irrelevant series of What Ifs?. It’s Hyperion and Thor leading a team of universe jumping heroes, either searching for Tony Stark or trying to repair the irreparable crack to the multiverse. The teasers are covers to Avengers/New Avengers; possibly a stand-alone series, but I doubt it; my guess is that we find out sooner rather than later that Tony Stark is loose in the multiverse pulling a Council of Reed Richards a la Fantastic Four, again, Jonathan Hickman.
I’m probably out of my mind, but the huge buzz these teasers are getting are simply blowing up the the Internet with speculation that is so far out of the scope of commonsense, history, and logic, that I had to provide some of those things, and come out the other side with something substantial. I’ll revisit this rant, right or wrong, in a few months.